Pretty Psyched!!!!!

I'M ON THE BRINK....

um....I believe this is Arnold S. with no teeth in his mouth. As disturbing as this is, I've got one better for you.
My friend X is separated from her husband and is currently dating. She goes on the website Plenty of Fish (been there, ugh, done that) to meet potential dates.
She met up with a guy approx 42 years old; divorced, nice-looking guy. Date #1, relatively successful. There were some things he told her that I wouldnt necessarily tell someone on a first date, but hey, she's like a confessional, whatever. She talks to him some more and he asks for date #2.
Now, here's the scene: he shows up, acting a little extra quiet, doesnt eat, then tries to kiss her goodnite later on and DOESNT HAVE HIS FALSE TEETH IN!!!
lmfao!!!! who does that ?????
Apparently he told her he had false teeth on the first date. Ok...it happens. She can overlook that, but not wearing them on the 2nd date?? and then you have the gall to lean in for a kiss? FUCK THAT!
Needless to say, she lost his number.
What would you have done????

Memories of Childhood at the Villas, NJ

This is a pic of my sister and I. I'm the tall one in the sailor girl dress...lol. I've worn this style dress twice in my childhood. Apparently I enjoyed it and thought I looked smart. LOL
This pic is taken "down the shore" which to us was always the Villas, NJ. My parents didnt vacation in Wildwood or Cape May, NJ, nooo, my mom's mother lived in the Villas, so that's where we always were on our trips to "the shore". As the house in the background shows, most houses in this small retirement community were one floor bungalows with a tiny living room, an eat in kitchen, a bathroom and two nice sized bedrooms. Every Easter and Thanksgiving we visited grandmom down the shore and stayed for that holiday weekend. Every summer we'd be down there most of the week. Grandmom would brave the winters by herself down there, as grandpop had died when I was just 3 or so. She loved our visits and loved us and hugged us so hard whenever we arrived. I dont ever remember her being truly mad at us or yelling at my parents, ever! My younger sister and I were allowed to, as we got older, go one block down the road to the bay shore. It was littered with horseshoe crabs and my favorite thing: tons and tons of ocean pebbles. All different sizes and shapes. I've collected them for years. I remember that the beach was on a downward slope from the road and we had to scoot down this slope, getting sand in our shoes. We had to wear shoes because the beach was littered with occasional glass and worse yet: sand burrs! They were extremely sharp and would be hard to extricate from a foot/shoe/sock etc...
I remember that shore house....the big back yard...my great aunt's house next door...my cousins would come down and we'd have others to play with. They had a swing set. We'd swing on it and sing songs. Mainly, the theme to The Greatest American Hero, and You Light up my Life! WOWWWW soo funny, we were some corny kids, but we had so much fun playing and dreaming.
My sister and I would play all kinds of board games, mainly chinese checkers (which is alot of fun) and cards--mainly WAR, which game could go on and on and on and onnnnn without a winner. I remember reading and loving to read outside. I remember singing Air Supply songs into the fan in my mother's room and hearing my voice go all funny from the fan rippling the air.
I remember Easter egg hunts, dyeing eggs, going to my grandmother's baptist church. I remember the smell of the shore....that damp, musty, salty smell....and my grandmom's damn moth balls in her armoire.
My sister took pics of these ancient pics my dad has of us as kids with her iphone and posted them; so naturally all these memories come flooding back: the wild honeysuckle that grew on the chain link fence between properties, the grass that grew as tall as me when noone lived next door--running thru that grass with wild wonder, the blue jays and robins, the seagulls and snails, the homemade rice pudding grandmom painstakingly made at the stove -- just for us -- every time we came down, the horrible violent thunderstorms, the allergies from freshly cut grass, the cot that my sister and i had to take turns sleeping on --one of us on the cot one night, in grandmoms bed with her the next, grandmoms snoring like a freight train!, grandmom playing rummicube (she loved that game) and kicking our ass, the wiiiiind at Thanksgiving that was cold and damp and wicked which made me feel alive, the beach when wicked winds came which made the otherwise quiet bay waters whitecap in a fury, the sandbars -- oh the wonder of them, singing songs in the car on the way to the shore, getting in fights with my sister on the way to the shore, my 11th birthday at the shore.... there's so much more....that i've probably forgotten.
more later...

A Case Against Religion....

Does it really do more good than harm? I don't believe that anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/user/richarddawkinsdotnet?ob=4&feature=results_main

I'm not atheist, but I get it. I get it when RD ridicules so called "religious" people. Most are either posers, or fanatics. Either one is cause to gasp in horror.

I'm not going to go against anyone's personal spiritual beliefs--we're all entitled. But just consider religion on the whole. What it's meant for humanity. Has it reeled in the masses to behave themselves?? NOT REALLY! We all "sin" and are imperfect beings! All it does is control through fear!!

So many atrocities are committed in "God's" name. Maybe "God" and our perceptions of him/her/it and our FEAR of him/her/it is what causes more evil and harm in our world than if we just were reasonable, ethical, moral people because it's the right way to be.

Wouldn't we have less prejudices against one another? If we all just scrapped religion. Just pretend those beliefs no longer matter and accept that we'll die and be at peace because we will no longer exist.  Would the world become a scarier place? Think hard on this. Our cultures despise one another...mostly due to religious dogmas. Religious fanatics kill in the name of "god". How is that moral? How is imposing your beliefs and withholding civil rights from another person moral? And coincidentally, as a person who's read the Bible, where does Jesus himself ever say not to have sex before marriage? Or that you should even BE married? Or that two men shouldn't marry? He said NONE OF THAT. Alot of the NT is writings of his apostles, post mortem. I'm sorry, but as loving as the Christ figure is, most Christians STILL DONT GET IT. Did not Jesus go to the hungry, despised Samaritan and offer him assistance when noone else would? Didnt he teach us to love one another? How did that message get drowned out by all the other bullshit and fire and brimstone? This is why personal spiritualism can exist, but religion must go. Fanaticism must go.

Religious rituals mean nothing. Sure, they have a symbolic meaning that noone ever gets or cares to think about. They just blindly do these things because its tradition, not belief.  I don't believe you need baptism, or confirmation, or any other religious ritual. Sure, it feels weird to abandon such rituals, because they are expected traditions, but it's also a relief to not be hypocritical anymore.

The sad thing is, like a lot of people, my soul yearns for a benevolent god. For the expectation of a reunion with my deceased loved ones. For the hope of a glorious eternity of wonder and learning and growing. I still hold out the hope for the possibility of such things, yet I cannot completely believe.  I don't think god needs ME to believe. And I dont believe he will punish me for my doubts. I also dont believe he cares what i eat and dont eat (re: Lent). Whenever people ask me if I'm eating meat during Lent I say proudly, God Loves ME no matter WHAT i eat!! To which I laugh out loud.
Perhaps next year I should say, there is no god, so I eat what I want! Wouldn't THAT shock the "hell" out of them!!!

Does anyone remember when we all used this? Does anyone remember AOL Journals? I had one, and to have one meant you had a community. I made many friends that I followed onto Myspace (remember that?) and on to Facebook.  It's been over ten years I think since I started my AOL journal and then one day, they were gone. Supposedly we were warned that the journals were being deleted, but I didnt know! I think the least they could've done was to ask for email verification that your account was going to be deleted OR they couldve emailed your entire blog as an attachment to whatever email account you opened it with!
All those thoughts, secrets made public, memories, gone... THOSE FUCKERS! 
Now that I got that out of my system, I am feeling quite lonely in this new blogosphere. Noone comments like back in the old days, and we're all spread out under different blog spots, so i'm not too happy. Before, I had all my favorite blogs right there in one spot to click onto. Now I don't know quite how to use this one as far as adding favorites that don't belong to blogger. Maybe I just havent organized, but I don't have all my bloggers together like I used to, and I miss that. A lot.
In more important matters, I'm having family problems with my mother. She has vascular dementia and she's been sent to a "home" to "convalesce", however, all she seems to be doing is harrassing their staff and now their other residents.  Seems to me they could be just not wanting to watch after a "difficult" patient, but she definitely has them riled up.  She got sent 2 times to the ER because they couldn't handle her and wanted her to be evaluated. But the ER psych doctor called me and said she is not exhibiting violent or suicidal or bizarre behavior, so they cannot 302 her or force her to do anything; they could only send her back to the home. Then the doctor called me back and said the nursing staff didnt want to readmit her back to the home because they're afraid she'll do the same shit she did earlier -- delusions, hallucinations and paranoias, aggressive behavior (pulled someone's hair/knocked something over/threatened to him someone) and imagining people were out to get her....its so sad, because i'm trying to tell these people...this ISNT my mom...my mom never had psychiatric problems...it's the dementia ... and it will come and go and they cannot keep throwing her to the ER when they are at their wits end! The psych dr said it sounded like they were "dumping" her at the ER because they couldnt or didnt know how to handle her behavior and that they should 302 her to a psych unit if they feel she is that out of control. But, they don't want to have to 302 her because then they would have to appear in court with their documents and would have to validate their decision. So instead they have my mom like a goddamn ping pong ball, and it's GOT to stop.
I have to call their social worker to talk to him tomorrow and see how her behavior is. The night nurse, DOTTIE.... i hope my mom DOES rip her bloody hair out that bitch. hehehehe Hows THAT for positive thinking??
more later...

My Day to be Positive!!

That's my little Krusty Buddy. When we brought this cat in from the WILDS of the South Philly alley, he looked very crusty, dirty and sick. Now look how handsome he is! And look how plush his white fur is.

I know it's random, but today is a mental health day for me. No, I didn't take off from work, instead, I told myself from the moment I woke up: I am going to see things positive today! No whining, no weeping or wailing, no bitching and moaning; just : a pleasant day.  I had to consciously redirect my thoughts quite a few times, but I managed. Work was pleasant, home is pleasant and I'm grilling outside in my little cement yard on my laptop with my potted rosebushes surrounding me. One already has 13 buds on it!!!

Alot has happened since I last wrote. I have had a lot going on in my personal and professional life, but it's too much to get into today. Instead of talking about this incessantly (my professional worries) i'll write them down so I don't get myself into too much of a tizzy.

I've pretty much observed that there are many things in life that are completely out of my control. Including my friends and family...i can't make anyone do anything, nor can i make them believe what they don't want to believe. A close friend of mine cut me off suddenly because of a misunderstanding She didn't even give me time to explain. At first I cried, then I got angry, now I'm just accepting what I cannot change. I apologized and made recompense. Hey, if it's good enough for god.....why isn't it good enough for YOU??? Eh, it is what it is and I cannot change it.  As fucked up as I sometimes believe I am, I am realizing that we all are a little sketchy; everyone has their hangups and mental/personality issues, and NO unfortunately Rodney King: We CANNOT all just get along.

Not unless, that is, we decide to care just a little less, be a little less egotistical, less aggressive, less assuming, more inquiring, more forgiving, slower to anger. As i wrote that last sentence i realized its structure wasn't quite correct, but you know what? I'm forgiving myself. I am allowing my ego to realize that I am NOT perfect, and never will be.

Someone I admire truly doubted my intelligence the other day. I mean, she totally said a smart person could get something over on me. While its true I'm not of the devious mindset, I am not stupid! I told her that I was sorry she felt that way, and that just because she believes its true, doesn't make it true. My ego was so brutally wounded, but I fought my way back out of depression and hurt, and pat myself on the back and said, you will come back from this...you will survive and thrive and no one can tell you who you are but YOU.

Well I'm rambling on, my grilled chicken is crying to come off the grill and the daylight is waning.

Hey, Wait! I got a new complaint.....

Cyclists of Philadelphia: this is not China. We do not want your goddamn bike lanes clogging up the traffic. We don't want you bobbing and weaving in-between cars and lanes. We don't want your blood on our tires or windshields.

Why oh why can't they ride on the pavements? Which is worse--a pedaled down pedestrian, or a driven-over cyclist? You choose. Choose wisely.

P.S. Dear cyclist: do NOT under ANY circumstances bike on streets without a bike lane. If you're gonna do that anyway, I'm going to either A: picket city hall to do away with your fucking lanes or B: run you the hell over.

Here's an idea: walk, bus, or drive. Leave the bikes for the countryside or park.

My GOD i hate cyclists, especially before I've had my morning coffee. Get the hell out of the road!!!
 

Pro-create or No Pro-Create?

A coworker of mine is having twins! She's hanging in there and I'm so proud of her! I've considered having another child. Upon asking several close persons for their opinions, I wish I'd never asked... why would you want another one--your daughter's almost grown? don't you think you're too old? do you really have enough money for that? don't you have enough to do? are you healthy enough?  AND THE COMMENTS GO ON AND ON. Some a lot ruder than others I must add.  New hubby deserves new baby. I thought he didn't want one, but we discussed and during such discussion I heard longings. "I'd spoil my kid, I'd take him/her everywhere with me."  -- does that sound like someone that doesn't want any children? hmmmm
I have a consultation with a doctor. After that I'll re-consider and evaluate my situation from her point of view.
I guess I'll just add hers onto the already piled high list of advice AGAINST pro-creating again 15 years later.
Is there anyone out there that will encourage me? Does anyone have anything positive to say?? ughhhhhhhhhhhh
 

Sleep Reading

I feel like the above student. I can't keep my eyes open. I hate that I have two classes on Wednesdays! One in-class, and one online. I like them both but my online class is kicking my ass and putting my love of reading to the test.
The mere fact that I'm writing here and not reading there attests to the boredom and snoredom of said reading. UGH.

Washington Square in Philadelphia

My Philadelphia & the Arts class (which is taught by the sociable and suave Professor Jack Byer) took a tour tonight of Washington Square. I just finished writing one of my essays on the square and on it's monument, "The tomb of the Unknown Soldier." See pics below:

The statue is of our first president George Washington and is a replica of a famous bronze statue by artist Jean Antoine Houdon. The words behind the statue, in case you can't read them say, "Freedom is a light for which many men have died in darkness." And as if that wasn't poignant enough, this statement also strives to break my heart (and is written on top of the stone coffin shown behind the eternal flame) : Beneath this stone rests a soldier of Washington's army who died to give you liberty.

One word: wow.

The last paragraph of my essay on this subject, which contains elaboration of my WOW, is shown in the paragraph below.

A few years ago I had appointments to go after work, and I would find myself walking on a diagonal path through this park. I would stare up at the trees as I walked. The trees surely have been there for more than a hundred years!  The sheer size and majesty of them attests to my theory!  In my walks through the park, I had the opportunity and leisure to observe the Monument of the Unknown Soldier.  On the big wall of stone behind the statue of the president it reads: Freedom is a light for which many men have died in darkness.  These poignant words struck me deep in my heart and made me misty-eyed and proud.  I found it immensely touching that recognition was given to these unknown soldiers, each who might’ve traveled great lengths only to die and be buried in nameless, uncounted, unmarked graves.  How proud such a soldier must be, gazing down from the heavenly blue sky, peeking through the leafy treetops, to see the eternal flame. This burning blaze serving as a beacon, beckoning to his wounded soul; he surely must know now, that he was not forgotten…

...and they call me the Dutchess!

You know how they say, "Things will get worse before they get better" ? 

What an understatement! 
 

My house is a total disaster. Not only do i still need an effin maid, but I also need a designer, an organizer, and a motivator! Right now, we're "under construction" and it feels like it will never-ever end! I probably should not be complaining. It's my excuse for not doing things I should be doing. It's just going to get dust on it after you sand that spackle now isn't it? Ahhh, the justifications of the slothful; they are what is truly never-ending!

My husband is the contractor, so I get my labor for free. How sweet is that? VERY! He isn't going to disappear, or charge me big bucks to do the job, but the man is working 7 days a week, sometimes two different jobs in the same day!! I'm lucky if I can get him to work a whole day at our house!  Right now we're in the middle of a living room remodel and the walls are not completed yet (still some spackle marks and unpainted spots) and we didn't get our new flooring yet NOR our new furniture. So now it's September, and my daughter turned 15. Time to stop calling her Scootle I guess. I'll revert to my other alias of her, Lina. She asked us to re-do her room for her birthday, you know: new paint, new flooring, new ceiling, new bed, new everything. Yes I think she's aware that this is costing us over a grand to do. She is one of those chicks that will forever look at herself in the mirror and proclaim with absolute certainty (just as in the Loreal commercials):

Yes, I'm worth it!  

Well goodie goodie gumdrops and sprinkles for HER.

As for me, I am sleeping in what I regularly call, "the third world country." ( I 
bought this house before I knew my handy hubby.) Since I moved in and ripped up the carpets in my bedroom, they have stayed that way. I started to paint my room dark dark blue, but never did the 2nd coat nor cut it in because? Because I decided I didn't like the effin color after all, but did I do anything about it? NO! Instead I carpeted and painted my daughter's bedroom and made it look all girly and cute. Now I'm doing it again, 7 years later, and voila....still the 3rd world country theme in my bedroom. And it's not just the bad, unfinished paint job or the cracked uneven wooden flooring, but its also the mis-matched furniture, the lack of a closet, and a bay window area that has cracking ugly textured plaster, and rotted wood windowsills. And they call ME the Dutchess?

Excuse me for expecting the Dutchess to not only have a maid, but also a beautiful decor and comfy surroundings...!  My daughter, the princess, is the real royalty around here! Yes, I could've complained to my ever-patient loving hubby that I need a re-do, but as most parents do, we put ourselves last.

Which brings me to the story of the new animated pic to the right (and below) that says, "Dutchess".


Hosted on Fotki



For years, my sister has been the self-proclaimed "Princess", yes with a capital P.  In jest, I said, "Well what does that make ME?? .... The Dutchess?"  This brought about laughs from both my sister and my father, and so my sister, who does PSP (not pcp) made up that animated poster for me to tell everyone my status.

I think it's a lie. I think I'm really the scullery maid and nobody really wants to point it out. The truth can just be so.....ugly.

Evanescence!!

Oct,30,2011: Upcoming Evanescence performing at the House of Blues, AC!
I just bought 3 tickets, I'm so excited! If you look at previous entries I've made some video entries of them. Here's another of my favorite video's of theirs:

This one's for you Jack....

Jack, my professor, mentioned (graciously I might add) that he "missed my blogs." So ..this one's for you Jack.

Tonight we did a walking tour of different "Public Art" around the city of Philadelphia. Because of the hour, and because my mind has since digressed, I plan to talk about this tour and provide pictures in a later blog.

After finally getting home, I realized I had online work to do in my Anthropology 101 class. The textbook we are using is, "Cultural Anthropology in a Globalizing World" by Barbara Miller. In each chapter there are different cultural stories and I read one on the San peoples of southern Africa...how they've been displaced and driven off of their own land. I decided to cut and paste my "rant" that i posted on the electronic blackboard, mostly because I am too tired to re-rant!!! LOL (yes i made up a word and i'm using it dammit!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really feel for the San peoples, as well as for the Native Americans. These indigenous people were unrightfully displaced. It's quite an embarrassment to the "civilized" western culture, that in order for our society to emerge and expand we had to take advantage of the natives of the Americas, as well as the natives of Africa and used them both to build our nation. Where would we be without the contributions of those peoples? Dead and broke is where we'd be. When we boast about being "the greatest nation on earth" we should in our hearts give recognition to and thanks to all the people that we came to step upon in order for our nation to exist! I'm so very grateful for our country, but I am embarrassed of it's beginnings and it's disregard and advantageous use of native peoples in its stretch for greatness. Our "mother country" England, no doubt taught us such behavior, as for EVER they have butt in on other cultures, colonized, and in some cases (like the Dutch in Rwanda) have ruined a nation and caused irreversible damage to societies with utter and complete disregard for anyone but themselves and their goals. I suppose that in that great time of exploration, those exploring were quite ignorant of what they saw to be primitive. Today, however, as "enlightened" as we are on matters of human rights, people are still continually used and stepped on and raped of their country's natural resources for foreign gain. I was SO glad to read that the San people had an advocate that sued the pharmaceutical companies that produce hoodia for the western world. Why should we ever go onto someone else's land and use their resources and not compensate them for it? Just because their economies may be SO desperate for money that they will work for pennies on the dollar, doesn't mean that western corporations should be allowed to employ them so cheaply and exploit them so grossly. Perhaps I should go work for a transnational advocacy group and forget the trivials of billing and management! When I read about the indignities of the world it makes my problems and concerns seem so small...!

School's OUT !! for the week.... :(

I'll find out my Soc 101 grade hopefully by this Friday. I'm expecting....probably... and A- at worst. At best, a regular A would make me happy. The only grade I got back was the midterm which was a high A so i'm hoping she liked my paper and my final....ugh the anticipation kills me sometimes... i hope i got an A of some sort!!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to meet with the academic councillor at Jefferson. I'm so damn nervous about applying for school, and i sadly realized that i have twice as many classes to take before graduating that i thought i had to take, so now i'm pretty bummed. It might take me another 4 years to finish unless i really take the reins and buckle down and take 3 classes a semester. ughhh. two was bad enuff. stressing.

Boss is out this week, i'm doing her job. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . i know i know i digress. its what i freaking do when i ramble on.

anyhow, gotta dip. dip into bed, into slumber ...hopefully that lasts longer than 2 hrs at a pop. well ttyl when i have more details about the college plans....and the work week

Sociology 101

I just got back from my night class - Sociology 101. As interesting as it is and i knew it would be, it's depressing as well. Todays subject was on social and global stratification. Basically--the patterns of social inequality in the world....via caste system, or class systems....economic systems....just just depressing. I mean, why if Nike (for example) cant employee slave labor in the USA is it ok for them to do it in a third world country. Giving the desperate some economic growth is inspiring, but not if it's child labor or pennies per hour...it makes me sick to the stomach that this is even legal. As good as our society can be at times, and as much as we try to be a Meritocracy...there is still so much inequality. Doesnt the Constitution state we are all born equal in the eyes of God?? i know we are a capitalist society, and as such we are all about the bottom dollar, but what about humanity? What about the peoples of the world who are exploited and stepped on? It makes me want to cry. The world is such a complex place, i wish i had the time and energy and effort to learn more about it. I'm trying. I'm going to school. But it depresses me to hear about the things I feel i cannot change. Inequality and desperation fuel me and yet i have no direction to go in.

Once upon a time...as a young child, I saw a "lil mouse" under a parked car outside of my city home, and in the background, a cat stalking it. I reached out my hand for this "lil mouse" to "save it" from the mean cat. It came to me and bit my hand!!
I ran into the house and all hell broke loose. My parents were having a party and my dad and a couple of my uncles came out with brooms and other equipment bound on catching the "lil mouse" which was actually a small rat!!! They found it and beat it as i cried. Little did i know that if they hadnt i'd have had to have gotten those dreaded 20 or so needles into my stomach (or so was the rumor if you caught rabies).
Ever since then, my mom would say, STAY AWAY FROM THE charity cases!! Take care of yourself, stop trying to SAVE everyone!!! LOL STORY OF MY LIFE!!!! being bit for trying to be helpful. blah.

i have to do a ten page term paper on a sociological subject, i picked genocide. I am interested in the topic and it hits me emotionally. I recently met a holocaust survivor at the bat mitzvah that my hubby and i just attended last month. Her name is Sonia Kaplan, and she wrote a book about her life that i have to read. My professor also suggested i read this book called, Night. The problem i have with writing this paper is that it has to be OBJECTIVE. a research paper. how can you f'ing be objective about genocide??? wtf??? I had to pick a subject to substantiate, such as, what sociological conditions must be in place for a genocide to evolve? or what role did the economic conditions of the society play in the fostering of the evil of genocide? I am going to look at the Holocaust (which haunts me for some reason) and Rwanda (which also haunts me).
Do i just have a depressing disturbed case of the macabre? Because frightening social effects have interested me ...such as Hiroshima and Nagosaki...or is this just a fate of having older parents who lived thru these events and were always talking about them or watching old war movies....(esp my dad). My parents best friends were jewish and so we always had great respect for jewish people. I used to think that i'd lived thru Hiroshima or Nagosaki because i have had NUMEROUS dreams of being in a nuclear war. I do not know why but i've dreamed very often of it and in such realistic detail. I also recall being dead so quick i thought i was still alive until i realized i could fly, etc. These dreams scare me but also amaze me because they give me hope of an afterlife.
god i digress....
interesting topics. and so i must research all i can about nazi germany and rwanda, africa to find similarities in their societies and therefore make my case whatever my "case" winds up being....such as there must be economic or social stress in the society for this to occur. Or there must be desperation and fear to allow it to continue. i dunno. sometimes i wish that god, if there is one, would come down here and just let us go back to the garden of eden where the lamb could lie back down with the lion and feel safe....where we could be innocent again. where there would be peace and beauty and love and not the ugly materialistic dirty nasty meanness that is reality. my heart sighs. my soul is sad.

George Harrison Playing Here Comes The Sun

Train - Calling All Angels

Three Days Grace - Never Too Late

Seether - Broken (Music Video) ft. Amy Lee

Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober (Video)