Ok, so dig it. I have these two pet peeves. Luckily, my family never do these offenses, so they at least, are off the hook. Unfortunately for me, however, I do encounter these offenses almost every day while at work or while getting there.
First of all, I drive to work. I come from South Philadelphia to Center City every day by car. It's an expensive, indulgent habit, but it's what I do. When I get to the Walnut Towers garage to park, I expect certain things. I expect there to be an open spot to park, and I expect to get to said spot in a normal timely fashion. What I don't want is to follow some slow poke at 2 miles an hour as we ascend for what seems like eternity. Yes, my pet peeve #1 is snails who drive 2 miles an hour in the garage. Common sense should tell these drivers that when you're in the city, and you come in around 8:30 am, that MOST of the spots on levels 1, 2, and 3 are ALREADY TAKEN! Stop dilly-dallying or trying to squeeze your Escalade Cadillac into a tight spot on level 3. Don't you realize this building goes up like six fucking floors?? Why squeeze your expensive car into a tight spot, begging for dings, and taking up my precious time, when you could speed up to the 5th floor and VOILA, omg, its like magic, there are spots all over the place. Get a fucking clue. Stop driving like you're a horse, and I'm in the goddamn buggy saying GIDDY UP. If I had a whip, I'd beat your hypothetical horse.
AHHHH!!!! Breathe. Deep breath. Okay. On to pet peeve #2.
Pet peeve #2 has to do with doctors. I work in a large physician practice. All of the doctors I work for are considerate and pleasant and normal. They aren't on ego trips, and they aren't obnoxious. My pet peeve is that our office is in a hospital building, and it's all the OTHER doctors that get on my last nerve. Why you ask? Well, it's only when they do this one particular thing, that makes me want to snap. It's a simple matter of etiquette to me and yet it's more than that. This pet peeve of mine occurs in the elevator. There is such a thing as elevator etiquette. In most NORMAL settings, people get on, punch their floor, and THEN (this is the etiquette part I'm speaking of) they MOVE TO THE SPOT IN THE ELEVATOR that signals what floor they will be exiting on. For example, If I get on the elevator with two other people, and I push 10 and the other woman presses 2, and the man presses 5, I would naturally move further back on the elevator to give deference to those exiting before me. This seems the logical and polite thing to do. Normally, when people are able to, I see them arrange themselves in this manner. But then I step into the hospital setting, and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. (well in my head while on the elevator)
I get on and press the 4th floor. I feel I'm midway up, I stand midway in the elevator. This doctor gets on on level 2. He's not dumb. He sees 4 pressed, he presses 11, then stands right up front in the elevator, his nose practically pressed against the door, and stands there as if to say, I KNOW YOU'RE LEAVING ON FOUR, WALK THE FUCK AROUND ME, I'M TOO BUSY TO CARE. Ok, so my therapist would've called my interpretation of his position as what they call personalizing a situation. Of course he probably wasn't trying to be a boorish, elitist pig, but hey, it sure seems like it to me! And its always the NEW doctors, high on their intellectual hogs that do these tricks. They know damn right well they are fucking in the way, but they fucking stand there, when there is ROOM at the BACK of the elevator. I feel like screaming, "hey doctor, get to the back of the elevator! Its not the same as the back of the bus, and even if it were, you aint no minority!!"
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Am I being totally picky and neurotic about this?
Oh, okay. In conjunction with pet peeve #2, when you say "excuse me" as you're trying to get off the elevator, why do people NOT move?? Do they think i'm saying excuse me because I might brush up against them? NO, when i say, "excuse me" i mean, get the fuck out of the way asshole. ok.
so much for my communications class.
I am still impatient and impulsive. Thank God I can hold it in. Well, in the elevator at least!!!! LOL
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