Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Goood Morning VietNAM!!!!!

Ok, so NOOO i’m not in Vietnam, but i effin feel like i’d rather be. This post is part hypothetical and part actual. You figure out which part is which cause i’ve about had it today!!

So….hypothetically speaking….the daughter comes home from her last day at summer school and texts her (hypothetical) mom and says she FLUNKED summer school!!!! EASY-PEASY lousy waste of a summer summer-school. And the hypothetical wonderful hypothetical husband overdraws the account, and there’s a Mid-term tomorrow and fuck if I remember a THING from lecture and what am I doing? Well i’m hypothetically, actually typing this blog which is half rant half pity party.



Sunday, July 25, 2010

First Things First

First of all, can i get a maid please???

My name is Liza. And i want a maid. Not just any maid...i can find someone to mop and vaccuum, i mean i need like the type of maid Paris Hilton must have...u know, one that you cant see, but you know its there...one that silently cleans out a room once you've exited it? One that cleans and does dishes and laundry and organizes. Oh and it can cook once in a while if it wants to....i mean, who am i to cramp its creative outlet?

Okay...well, since i dont have Paris's money (i think her dog has more money than i do) i guess i have to do this on my own. I'd take a pic of the chaos, but i cant f'in find the power cord to juice up my fabulous camera!!

So now you're probably wondering if i'm one of those craaazy hoarders. If i say NO would you really believe me anyway? I watch that show and they always say, "no way...i'm not a hoarder" as if you called them a whore or something. Maybe if the guilty were just called "slob-oles" they would admit to that. It sounds less serious than HOARder. lol

To answer the question, i'd say i'm a slobole....whaddya want from me?? lol hey maybe i could play hoarder (it wouldnt be too much of a stretch) and REALLY junk up my house, i mean, really let stuff pile up....then i could call the show Hoarders and have them clean it all out and organize it FOR me...
come on....dont pretend you havent thought of it before.....poser!!

Sometimes i wonder if i was a man in a past life....or a princess....i mean, really, why cant i just do this stuff? Other women are experts at this home life jazz, not me. Once i went to therapy and i tried to explain to the person that i have this problem with being lazy and i dont know why....the therapist was like, oh dont worry about it, you're being to hard on yourself. hahahaha, ok just deny the problem and it will go away? some therapist!!

Anyhow, this is just one part of my life....my home. I'm sitting in my bed, looking at the clothes on the floor and the clean ones on TOP of the dresser, and the half empty (half full?) bottles of water that i MUST have at bedtime scattered on my nighttable and onto the floor, the OLD airconditioner still sitting on the floor directly underneath the newly installed one (i blame this move on hubby), and the list could go on....

As for my life in general, I'm happily married...still a newlywed!! Our first anniversary is coming up this fall...i have a daughter from a prior marriage, she's 13 and full of attitude, sorta like sugar and spice and some times not nice, and 3 cats. We live in a 3 bedroom house which is locally called a "rowhome" and we need more space. This is part of what i blame on my messiness. NO space!! But... is only part of the problem. And no, this blog wont be alllll about my slobbiness, god if it was, i'd have to say wow, i really DONT have a life, hehehe, but i do... and we'll get to that later.

This Lazy Liza short-take has been brought to you by Lazy Liza inc. LOL